Separation - the first few days

The first few days of coping with the aftermath of a bombshell are challenging and are often fuelled by reactive, emotionally driven decisions. Below are some tips for coping:

- Reflect rather than react. Friends, family and social media can be great for letting of steam but what you say in the heat of the moment might be regretted later.

- Do things that help you to relax and stay calm - a walk, exercise or watching a film. And keep eating - you need fuel.

- Use your courage so that you can have useful conversations, where you are listening as well as talking.

- Write things down.

- The first reaction is not always the best reaction. Sleep on it, then consider your reply.

- Seek advice; information can be reassuring.

Adele Ballantyne, Relationship Therapy

If your partner has told you they wish to separate, please call 01872 706050 for advice.

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